"I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane." 
— John Green (Looking for Alaska)

when will my crown of pride grow from its current length ;)

paint your nails glittering pink or flashy blue.wear that hot shorts and cute baby tee that got stuck in your wardrobe of wonders for eons.strike out with colorful wayfarers.adorn your feet with dreamy shoes that are able to take you far across that bridge of doubtful boundaries.

i am afraid of tomorrows but i am not intimidated of risks and chances that i am about to take. i am going to live my life with a hardcore attitude and take brisk walks along the edge of life.

god, i want to dream again.

adorably stubborn

girl : *walks into the clinic* hey!
boy : hey.
girl : so?where is the doctor?
boy : she is being annoyingly late....
girl : pfft.she is that way.
boy : hurm,weren't you the one that said she was getting better at her service? *snickers*
girl : yes but you came at the wrong time *sits beside him*
boy : how was i suppose to know that?
girl : well...you can always ask the nurse. the nurses and the doctor don't quite get along.
boy : heh.my leg looks really badly swollen.
girl : i told you to rest.
boy : but i do not feel any pain when i walk.
girl : then why did you ever step foot into this clinic?
boy : because it hurts a bit when i walk....
girl : *smacks her head*
boy : how about you? you still walk even though your operation wound hasn't healed properly yet.
girl : at least i rested for a week.
boy : i played ball in the morning....
girl : *smirks* how do you expect that swollen leg to heal if you don't give it a proper chance to heal. its already been five days.that is because you so did not rest.
boy : well you walked around with a fresh wound and could not even do anything properly.
girl : at least i rested during the crucial time when the wound needed to heal.what?now you are trying to say i am a burden?
boy : i am trying to say is you should rest more.operations are way worse than swollen legs.
girl : at least i RESTED.i laid on my bed for seven days in a row. you played ball even when your leg was swollen.
boy : my friends asked me out and i had nothing to do in the morning so i went with them.
girl : *looks at him* and you are the one that calls me stubborn.
boy : *holds her hand* i can feel more pain when you hurt.
girl : don't you think that i feel the same?
boy : so what are we suppose to do?
girl : *smiles and looks away*
boy : stubborn....
girl : i am and so are you.

my dreams are more real when you are around me.

illogical notions

a. i hate my body because it is always in SICK/ILL mode.
b. the weather has taken its toll on me. i get annoyed easier these days. sunny.gloomy.rainy.sunny.cloudy.
c. i still wonder what happens if the skies were seas and the seas were skies.

i imagined floating SKY cars and GRAVITY DEFYING buildings on clouds.we would be gliding among the white fluffy clouds and be eating white lollipops made of soft cotton candy.when it rains, it would be whale poop crushing on us.....now that is so not a pretty sight.

gullible and naive

girl : don't you have a girlfriend or a wife-to-be or something?
boy : i don't. *puts on a stern face*
girl : you don't have to be so worked up about the question.jeez.
boy : well...
girl : i just don't want the other person to feel that i have stole you in some way.
boy : i don't have anyone else.its just complicated in so many ways.
girl : i did try to hate you and refrain from you but i just can't.i just want you.my comfort zone.
boy : *frowns and thinks hard*
girl : i don't expect much...all i want is honesty..is that possible with you?
boy : *looks at her* it never did cross my mind that i would have ever meet someone like you in eons.nor did i     ever thought of falling in love this deep.
girl : love is never easy.i wished people knew how to make it last longer because when it does..its the best gift that anyone could have.
boy : i wished we could have met before.
girl : sometimes i wish we didn't...
boy : do u hate me that much?
girl : no,i don't.i don't hate you.
boy : then?
girl : if u hadn't met me in the past, your life would have been less complicated and i wouldn't have to cry every night because i know i can't love you.
boy : *hugs her* i am so sorry.
girl : i know.

i have no idea why my brain is a sucker for love stories with no proper happy endings. KILL ME.

when silence is the only noise you hear when its dark

Just cause our faith is different, it does not mean i love you less or i would abandon you. i meant what i said and there is no turning back My faith in the small miracles and hopes are relived. The little success that i obtain, i will always remember to thank you and god. I have never turn my back on anyone and i do not intend to start now. I am timid inside. You do not see it because your mind is set that everything i do is according to the book. In fact,for the past 20 years of my life, i have been bending rules and living my own way. When i try to tell, there is no one to listen. When i show for real, you abolish all memories of what i have done so well in my life.

life is never fair and thank you for the invaluable lesson. *salutes*