illogical notions

a. i hate my body because it is always in SICK/ILL mode.
b. the weather has taken its toll on me. i get annoyed easier these days. sunny.gloomy.rainy.sunny.cloudy.
c. i still wonder what happens if the skies were seas and the seas were skies.

i imagined floating SKY cars and GRAVITY DEFYING buildings on clouds.we would be gliding among the white fluffy clouds and be eating white lollipops made of soft cotton candy.when it rains, it would be whale poop crushing on us.....now that is so not a pretty sight.

gullible and naive

girl : don't you have a girlfriend or a wife-to-be or something?
boy : i don't. *puts on a stern face*
girl : you don't have to be so worked up about the question.jeez.
boy : well...
girl : i just don't want the other person to feel that i have stole you in some way.
boy : i don't have anyone else.its just complicated in so many ways.
girl : i did try to hate you and refrain from you but i just can't.i just want you.my comfort zone.
boy : *frowns and thinks hard*
girl : i don't expect much...all i want is honesty..is that possible with you?
boy : *looks at her* it never did cross my mind that i would have ever meet someone like you in eons.nor did i     ever thought of falling in love this deep.
girl : love is never easy.i wished people knew how to make it last longer because when it does..its the best gift that anyone could have.
boy : i wished we could have met before.
girl : sometimes i wish we didn't...
boy : do u hate me that much?
girl : no,i don't.i don't hate you.
boy : then?
girl : if u hadn't met me in the past, your life would have been less complicated and i wouldn't have to cry every night because i know i can't love you.
boy : *hugs her* i am so sorry.
girl : i know.

i have no idea why my brain is a sucker for love stories with no proper happy endings. KILL ME.

when silence is the only noise you hear when its dark

Just cause our faith is different, it does not mean i love you less or i would abandon you. i meant what i said and there is no turning back My faith in the small miracles and hopes are relived. The little success that i obtain, i will always remember to thank you and god. I have never turn my back on anyone and i do not intend to start now. I am timid inside. You do not see it because your mind is set that everything i do is according to the book. In fact,for the past 20 years of my life, i have been bending rules and living my own way. When i try to tell, there is no one to listen. When i show for real, you abolish all memories of what i have done so well in my life.

life is never fair and thank you for the invaluable lesson. *salutes*

life's a roller coaster...

and one of my biggest phobia is the roller coaster.

Its a big ride that defies gravity at a certain point. It has ups and downs. When it is up, it is as if we are on top of the world and when it heads downward, there is this sick feeling dumped right in the guts. It speeds and finishes in a blink of an eye. Isn't life the same way too?

can't think straight

i had played on the field
i had debated all the way to kuching
i completed every assignment on time
i studied without any disturbance
and yet i still feel incomplete.

i am stronger but broken.

i miss the old not the new.

i wonder if i ever did cross your mind because my memory of the old keeps replaying....