To know you is a gift

3rd March 2011

You are my shining star
You could be my everything
But i know i wouldn't fall so easily for you
I will give a chance for us
But all i want is normal
I don't need you to impress me
You already did when you tried to talk to me so hard
You took a year or so to know mw
You take me by surprise everyday
Can't help drowning in your love

Can't lie

20th August 2011

Today, he drew me a picture. You can't see it but between those fine lines of pencil stains and sketches, it was there. He drew his love to me. And it was in that moment, i wanted a brighter future. In that future, he would be with me. Such thoughts are dangerous to the soul. It can create craters abd aftermath disasters. Somehow, i am less afraid. I'd rather cherish and love those little memoirs that he has given. So chivalry. So honest. However, my past taunts my deeply wounded soul. I have the gift of doubting but there he stands still and stuck around. He even dealt with it. "I can't handle you but i know i care for you"

Home is where the heart is,

..but how come my heart's beating way too fast and afraid of stepping back to where i had once belong.

Confessions

17th December 2011

Today, i sat on my chair facing the gleaming sun. I realised that what my feelings stand for you isn't shallow. I don't scribble your name everywhere. I don't say much with emotions when you are around. I don't want to cling to you when friends are around you. It isn't cause i don't want to show how much i love you. It is cause i know it is way too deep for me to understand to why i had fall for you in the first place. You were always there. If you weren't there cause you couldn't make it. Sometimes the best moments are the ones that are less understood.

Heartful

A bed of roses
A sea full of lies
A cloud of hurt
A staggering amount of false pretenses
A glassful of risks
A string of imagination
A cup full of broken pieces

The border between lies and bluffs
The separation of the good and bad
The hypocrite truth of having hope despite losing faith
The unconditional way of giving too much yet feeling so little
The little ways of tender love and streaming tears of sadness
The emotions of jealousy and anger mixed with rage

Standing there
Losing stance
Giving in
Never understanding
Where the means to simplify complicates everything else

Then, a smile
Relieve
Letting go

Revenge is sweet
Karma is truly a bitch that slaps hard
How dare you cross the line.

I didn't have to do much
Cause you did

You impart pain on yourself
You lost.

Seeing it through her eyes

always wanted an adventure. travel along the forbidden and forgotten road. immerse in such beauty of every miracle ever existed on earth. living in ignorance just won't do for me. i have gone far from home but i need something more. to remind me that a living is just dreaming in another dimensions. i got to say this illusion of life is beautiful despite the ugly that people spread.

hyperactive.cynical.sarcastic.

Hysteria

Overdosed on ventolin. Heart beats thumping too loud. Blacking out feels good. Tremors are even better. Bleeding transparent pain. Numb. Broken feels good. I am crushed and out of luck. Even the strongest of hearts can only take pain at a certain degree.

 I get a hysterical hysteria

Can you feel it

Do you believe it

It's such a magical mysteria

When you get a feeling better start believing

Cos it's a miracle

Say you will

Hysteria when you're near

-def leppard

I.am.out.of.touch.

Still fragile

Girl : You're never around. When i need you, you're never there. Busy busy busy.
Boy : So you want to confine me?
Girl : No. I just want you...
Boy : If i'm not around and you think that i'm late. Look into your heart because i am always there.
Girl : *pouts* I'll try.
Boy : Don't you know that i love you.
Girl : I do.
Boy : I am with you. I will find a way to get to you. Always

**

Girl : Mannnn, i suck at this snooker game.

Boy : *adjusting* This should do.

Girl : Hey, it works. *giggles*

Boy : *adjusting again* This should do.

Girl : Oh jeah! Thank you!

Boy : *smiles*

Girl : Will you tell me 'this should do' whenever i need you till forever?

Boy : *adjusting the control* This should do *smiles*

Girl : Thank you.

**

Girl : I never want to hurt you.. i don't even want you to get hurt because of me..

Boy : Just go with it. All that i want in this world is happiness. That's all. I don't really care where you come from, what your status is, if i like, i'll go to you. now is that i like you and love you. who cares if i have to lay on the hospital cause i wanted to protect you. to see you beside me it is just sweet dear.

**

Girl : Why are your hands bigger than mine?

Boy : So that it would be easier to grab *smirks*

Girl : -,-

Us over time

When we met, you were just you and I was just me
We rarely talked and smiled
Not even eye contacts
Then, it started with a message
To long conversations at night
I wait for you to say hye every night
We got deeper and involved
I started to love you I need you but you..
Why you? Why did you approach me first? Why?
I disappeared and you pulled me back
“I love you. I need you. When you said bye, I broke into pieces. Never leave me again”
And now here we are hoping that we would last through times.
It took you two years to say something and two years for me to realize I love you.