Homagadddd, Chuck Norris

"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits."

"If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris."

I was so bored today that I watched Wanda Sykes being all black and read random Chuck Norris facts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_wWJ-_4uSY

Watch her watch her and laugh your butt off.

I need a journey to know that i'm still sane.

Fever

Packing bags and running away isn't going to help. 

Maybe, just maybe.

Defending myself and showing who I really am.

Maybe, just maybe.

People will love for who I am.

Maybe, just maybe.

I won't try to run and hide all the time.

Maybe, just maybe.

I'm being delusional.

Off to class and back to reality. 

To The Lady Residing In The Big Fat Apple

Siren,

I would like to start my post by stating the reason to why I had deleted my very sociable page. Just recently. Do you ever get the feeling where you'll always be never good enough?
Not to mention, the amplifications of unnecessary dramas splattered all over.
And how awesome their lives are with extra visual aids.
Nah, I am done.
So here I am. A post especially for you.

Before deleting, I did catch a glimpse of your post to me =)
It made me smirked, snickered and giggled.
I told youuuuu it was addictive!!! I told you soooooo!!
Now hum it and play it on the piano or guitar or any instrument your hands can grab.
You seem to be talented at everything. I am like your biggest fan!!! Ahhh!
But not big enough to do "I'm the king of the world" at the edge of the ferry *coughs*

Well, my life here.. has its ups and downs. I hope you're doing fine on the other side.
The other day, I had another test. This time, biology. I don't get why do I keep getting Biology lecturers that just wants to PMS at my face.
With this test, it was Mendelian Genetics in all its glory. And my head was practically rocking to this tune,

Yea, but are you gettin' it?Armageddon it! Oooo, really gettin' it?Yes, Armaggedon it! You try comin' on when you need someBut then you don't 'cos you already did Yeah, you jangle your GENES while your shakin' ya And drive the pretty PEAS outta their heads You got it, but are you gettin' it? 

And, ka boom!! I bloody armageddon the test!!! 

I think I need a break. This is me on better days.

I hope you're doing fine and stay awesome. Love you. Take care. Eat your meals, FYI its three times a day. Hahahahahahaha. I'm here for you always whenever you need me.

Call me, beep me if you wanna reach me. I'm Ashreen Impossible. Heh.

Maybe

I'm just a little scared inside

and the scars within will hold on to me

for as long as I live.

Maybe,

all we need is a little light in the darkness.

An apologetic post. sincerely.

Girl : I am sorry. I am sorry for starting a fight or an argument or whatever you would want to call it. The very origin of my fear comes from scars within. I have issues with trust and people. I am sorry if I ever made you felt as though you're never good enough. I just wish you were here again to make me feel better and to fall asleep with a smile. I am sorry. I hate my emotions. I hate me too. I am sorry. I guess you never want to talk to me again. I am sorry. I hope you're happy wherever you are. *sigh*

Her eyes wide opened and she gasps hard and deep. It was just a nightmare nothing more. But why did it feel like forever? Why her? Why everything has to fall apart? What if the nightmare was her whole life? She wasn't the pretty sort. She was a loner. She hid behind words. No one ever gave her a second glance of hope and faith. She was all alone in those nightmares. She was cheated on and played to the benefits of others. Her heart shattered to pieces and her family turn their backs as they were in their own nightmares chasing the truth.

After 20 years of living in those nightmares, waking up is as bad as living the life she had in her nightmare. Waking up and trying to find a fresh start is difficult to do. Why was she dragged here? What is the purpose of living when you know you were never meant to walk and breathe like everyone else? What if everything you have seen is a lie? Where do you go?

These questions will never be eradicated internally.

To watch you walk out the door years ago was heart wrecking. My heart sank so low that i gave it away it so easily to a stranger. A stranger who then robbed me of my dignity and pride. You said that you were tired of your high flying flamboyant life. Where did you really go?

How i looked up to you?

A role model when i didn't even know how you looked till i was 4 years old.

I should have seen the signs that you were always going to be gone and far away.

I don't miss you. I wished you were a person that i could miss.

That i could hold onto and rely on. 

There you go again. Gone in the wind once more. 

And here i am left with all your mess...

Out in a corner and licking my own wound,

Taking in every pain. Bottling it up. Keeping it locked in the chest. The pain seeps out quietly eating me from the inside. Twenty years worth of pain. Numerous bottles of pain. Numbing out the pain. I have this syndrome where i would cry aloud for so many days. One day, I'll just stop because i had already absorbed the pain. Kept it locked deep into the cavity of my soul. I would stare into space. Pain. Pain. Pain. Is that all i would ever feel? Then you wonder. if i just died.. wouldn't it be easier? Die into an eternal void. This treacherous life left behind. The lies. The deceit. The pretend. The glances. Oh. It kills. You have no idea. The hurt. I have kept it too deep in me. I am bitter.

take a leap of faith *exhales*

the gift

today i received something that i had waited for so long.
a gift from you to me.
days have gone by.
i guess everything is worth with a little wait done.

i received a package with little pieces of you.
and i want it to be that way till the end of time.

quotes from people that truly have gone through something

everything comes to he who waits :)
mode : the young victoria. patience is everything.-athira amanina

cakap : adakalanya jodoh mendahului sebuah cinta sejati.-minie

"You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality" |Ayn Rand (1905-1982)-sumy

"Don't choose a better guy. Choose a guy that makes you better girl."-faten naseer

to be in a relationship, you have to be in it for the love. not because you're lonely or single, but because you want to have a commitment.-ana lyana

that night, when you pulled me close into your hug, although i know my world has long crashed, at that moment, everything felt right.
tonight, i need that feeling again. i need you.-vivian

 

 

if i hadn't have tis very annoying skin problem, i would always be out and running about.

figuring it out

i soon understood to why i have these thoughts.
thoughts that screw minds and lets the soul feel as though it had been baffled by houdini.
because i have no control to what i draw and imagine in my little insignificant brain.
i seem to lose it when i feel composed and calm.
things go haywire when i least want it too.
i tire myself out.
somedays i would get so restless with these thoughts.
i swear somedays, i feel as though the burden of my thoughts could suffocate me to death.
its just me. me. me.

overthinking.
i am officially an emotional wreck.

afraid.

the circumstances were not fully understood and i have no means of trying to understanding it either. the timid feeling arises when all these memories of the old appears out of nowhere. this time, falling down to the ground is going to hurt tremendously. other alternatives of feeeling good had been burned out a long time ago. the peak of everything seem to be so fragile. stepping foot into the unknown and the boundaries that were set a long time ago was nowhere to be seen. making up for the lost time would not just do. something's bugging my mind, and i am not quite sure what it is.

tis is annoying.

Heartbreaks in the morning.

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.
Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
-fallen

It was just another day

but somehow today made me realised that,

why do we argue?
why couldn't we put up with our differences?
why couldn't we agree?
why didn't we give each other respect?
why didn't we do so?
why didn't try to smile and get along?
why did we have to make problems when there wasn't anything?
why didn't we try yo sit and talk it out?
why?

Today i sat there watching all of you smiling and laughing after so long. The magic was there a long time ago but we couldn't catch the sparkles before. Maybe it was cause we were to busy being an individual. My way or the highway kind of attidude.

To know you is a gift

3rd March 2011

You are my shining star
You could be my everything
But i know i wouldn't fall so easily for you
I will give a chance for us
But all i want is normal
I don't need you to impress me
You already did when you tried to talk to me so hard
You took a year or so to know mw
You take me by surprise everyday
Can't help drowning in your love

Can't lie

20th August 2011

Today, he drew me a picture. You can't see it but between those fine lines of pencil stains and sketches, it was there. He drew his love to me. And it was in that moment, i wanted a brighter future. In that future, he would be with me. Such thoughts are dangerous to the soul. It can create craters abd aftermath disasters. Somehow, i am less afraid. I'd rather cherish and love those little memoirs that he has given. So chivalry. So honest. However, my past taunts my deeply wounded soul. I have the gift of doubting but there he stands still and stuck around. He even dealt with it. "I can't handle you but i know i care for you"

Home is where the heart is,

..but how come my heart's beating way too fast and afraid of stepping back to where i had once belong.

It's not everyday people fall in love
It's not everyday someone gets angry
It's not everyday people cry
It's not everyday things go your way
It's not everyday there will be precious memories to hold onto
It's not everyday where family and friends laugh and know that you belong right there.

But,
Somehow,
I just know that things do last forever because time cannot diminish how I feel about every precious pearls that I had found.