Out in a corner and licking my own wound,

Taking in every pain. Bottling it up. Keeping it locked in the chest. The pain seeps out quietly eating me from the inside. Twenty years worth of pain. Numerous bottles of pain. Numbing out the pain. I have this syndrome where i would cry aloud for so many days. One day, I'll just stop because i had already absorbed the pain. Kept it locked deep into the cavity of my soul. I would stare into space. Pain. Pain. Pain. Is that all i would ever feel? Then you wonder. if i just died.. wouldn't it be easier? Die into an eternal void. This treacherous life left behind. The lies. The deceit. The pretend. The glances. Oh. It kills. You have no idea. The hurt. I have kept it too deep in me. I am bitter.

take a leap of faith *exhales*

the gift

today i received something that i had waited for so long.
a gift from you to me.
days have gone by.
i guess everything is worth with a little wait done.

i received a package with little pieces of you.
and i want it to be that way till the end of time.

quotes from people that truly have gone through something

everything comes to he who waits :)
mode : the young victoria. patience is everything.-athira amanina

cakap : adakalanya jodoh mendahului sebuah cinta sejati.-minie

"You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality" |Ayn Rand (1905-1982)-sumy

"Don't choose a better guy. Choose a guy that makes you better girl."-faten naseer

to be in a relationship, you have to be in it for the love. not because you're lonely or single, but because you want to have a commitment.-ana lyana

that night, when you pulled me close into your hug, although i know my world has long crashed, at that moment, everything felt right.
tonight, i need that feeling again. i need you.-vivian

 

 

if i hadn't have tis very annoying skin problem, i would always be out and running about.

figuring it out

i soon understood to why i have these thoughts.
thoughts that screw minds and lets the soul feel as though it had been baffled by houdini.
because i have no control to what i draw and imagine in my little insignificant brain.
i seem to lose it when i feel composed and calm.
things go haywire when i least want it too.
i tire myself out.
somedays i would get so restless with these thoughts.
i swear somedays, i feel as though the burden of my thoughts could suffocate me to death.
its just me. me. me.

overthinking.
i am officially an emotional wreck.

afraid.

the circumstances were not fully understood and i have no means of trying to understanding it either. the timid feeling arises when all these memories of the old appears out of nowhere. this time, falling down to the ground is going to hurt tremendously. other alternatives of feeeling good had been burned out a long time ago. the peak of everything seem to be so fragile. stepping foot into the unknown and the boundaries that were set a long time ago was nowhere to be seen. making up for the lost time would not just do. something's bugging my mind, and i am not quite sure what it is.

tis is annoying.